Center of problems

The Browns’ center situation this training camp has been anything but steady and normal. ESPN Page 2 writer David Fleming knows as much and makes light of the whole bizarre series of events in a recent column. He rewinds and takes readers through the Browns problems at center dating all the way back to 2003 in a rather comical 1,281-word rambling sentence.

Here’s a sample of his column. Fleming picks it up from the Hallen retirement.

…a surprise to Cleveland which prompted Savage to trade another future draft pick to the Pats for the banged up but decent lineman/center and one-time Barcelona Dragon Ross Tucker while the GM promised to scour rosters across this great land looking for surplus linemen oozing with the kind of rare skill set the Browns have come to expect from their centers (in other words, a beer gut and a pulse): players like Miami center Steve McKinney (and not, by the way, former Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino who in his recent weight loss ads shows just how slim you can get when you cut pride out of your daily diet) who, sadly, underwent season-ending back surgery shortly after Savage inquired about him, thus infecting him with the Browns Super Psycho Center Saga Voodoo Curse which next claimed Smith, who suffered a nasty high-ankle sprain which left the Browns, with Ephraim’s imminent suspension, no choice but on Aug. 24 to — I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP, PEOPLE, THERE ARE, LIKE, LAWS AND STUFF — infuse the position with almost a whole entire 10 days of rock-solid stability, professionalism and serenity by cutting Mabry and acquiring Bears backup center and former second-round pick Lennie Friedman for yet another conditional 2007 pick (they apparently grow on trees in Northeast Ohio this time of year and are very tasty toasted on a cookie sheet with just a pinch of butter and salt)

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