Posted on Monday 18 December 2006 by Kenny Roda @ 5:12 pm
Kenny Roda from WKNR SportsTalk 850 will be writing a weekly blog on Cleveland Scores covering the sports world both locally and nationally. Check back often for his updates!
I haven’t written a letter to Santa in a long, long time, but the last time I did he brought me everything I asked for. So I figured what the heck, he didn’t leave me hanging last time, so why not see if he’ll hook me up again. So here’s a copy of my letter I sent to the North Pole.
Dear Santa,
I know Christmas is supposed to be a time for giving and not receiving, but you do such a great job with the giving thing and I know a lot of people who are in need, so please take a look at my list. You can look at it twice, and you know, like you always do, determine whether I’ve been naughty or nice. And with the exception of that one night, that featured tequila and a hot waitress who kind of looked like Anna Kournakova, I’ve been really good. Just ask her, she’ll tell you how good! Anyway, I’ve got some things I’d like and few things for my friends. If you could deliver ASAP it would be greatly appreciated.
1) A new owner for the Cleveland Indians who isn’t related to Ebenezer Scrooge. Maybe that new owner will be like you and give, give, give to the fans! Instead of asking us to spend, spend, spend.
2) I know you have a lot of tiny elves who work for you and build great toys. Do you need any really tall, useless guys who could help the Abominal Snow Monster from your great TV hit Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? We call him “Z” and he too could put the star on top of the tree without a ladder. Although he may miss 2 or 3 times before he gets it done. We’ll trade you him for a few of the old leather NBA basketballs.
3) You have reindeer who pull your sleigh and lead the way for you. The Browns could use 5 guys who would act like reindeer and lead the way for their running backs and quarterback. This is probably the biggest wish that anyone and everyone in Cleveland would like granted, especially Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson. This wish, if granted, could save lives, that’s how important it is.
4) While we’re dealing with football. How about a lifetime contract for Jim Tressel to remain as the head coach at “THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY”. He, unlike the other coaches in the state of Ohio, brings joy and happiness to many people and isn’t that what the Christmas spirit is all about?
5) Oh yeah, one more lifetime contract. Please make sure that fine gentleman in Ann Arbor, Michigan gets a lifetime contract too. His name is Lloyd Carr and he too brings joy and happiness to many people in Ohio.
6) To all the presidents of all the great universities in this country. Could you please place under their trees and in their brains why it would benefit them and the NCAA that a playoff system in college football would make everyone happy. The players and coaches would be happy because a national champion would actually be crowned on the field. The fans would be happy for the same reason. They themselves and the suits that run the NCAA would be happy because they could make as much money as they do now, if not more. It’s a win-win for everybody.
7) Along the lines of Christmas again. We have a King here in Cleveland. You may have heard of him, his name is LeBron James. King LeBron is such a great person and such a great giving person (check his career assist stats in the NBA) that he wouldn’t dare ask you for anything, since it seems like he already has everything. Everything but a point guard on his basketball team. Could you please check in Sacramento (Mike Bibby), in Charlotte (Brevan Knight) or anywhere else and see if you could drop one off at The “Q” sometime real soon. A guy by the name of Eric Snow will gladly give him his locker.
8) A Magic 8 Ball to help Browns GM Phil Savage on draft day 2007. That toy is never wrong. You can shake it and toss it and it always answers your question. Heck, it can’t do any worse than the Browns have done in selecting draft picks in the first 8 years.
9) I almost forgot what I wanted. Remember that naughty thing I mentioned earlier with that waitress? How about this time you bring me the real Anna Kournakova so we can play a little one-on-one?
10) And in closing, a closer for the Cleveland Indians who isn’t over 40 years old, or coming off some kind of arm, or shoulder, or elbow injury.
That’s what my friends and I would like for Christmas this year. It’s only 10 things, but if you could grant all of those Christmas wishes you would be making a lot of people very, very happy.
As we say on the golf course Santa…”You Da Man!”
Also listed under: Cleveland Chatter
I would add D-lIne to that 0-line wish list for the Browns
…and oh yeah how about new coaches for all 3 franchises because Romeo is horrible, Wedge is below avg. and Mike Brown is not good enough to get the Cavs to the title in the small window they might have with King James….
Can we get lifetime contract for Lebron? He is the savior of the franchise, we’re all witnesses. Also, can Z get some speed and strength in his legs and feet. Statistically, he’s the 3rd best center in the eastern conference. Can we also get a full recovery for our local guy LeCharles Bentley. Sure he may not play again, but he’s one of our own. I’d personally like a Fiesta Bowl victory for the Buckeyes.
Last but not least, can I have Megan Goode and Eva Mendez?
I have two things that Cleveland should add to its list. Now, I know this isn’t really typical Cleveland because we don’t like players with any attitude (see A.Bell), but I think two franchises could really use some “attitudinal adjustments”, c/o:
1. Allen Iverson (seriously, read my blog and tell me you disagree about how exciting the starting five could be: http://tastyburger.wordpress.com)
2. Mike Martz to be the Browns head coach. If he can’t put together a crazy offense, no one can. Seriously. We can even let Romeo staty as the D-coordinator, since everyone in the locker room seems to love him so much. Even though Grantham is the one that should be credited.
Dear Santa,
What I would like for Christmas would be a new afternoon host on WKNR. The idiot on that shift there now rehashes the same show over and over and over and over (see the Christmas list that was listed above that reads like an everyday show itinerary … Call Z slow … check, call Larry Dolan cheap … check, knock all the Indians signings … check, kiss tressel’s ass … check, kiss LeBrons ass … check). What I would like is a host that is not a front runner (Ohio State, Ohio State … Cavaliers, LeBron, Ohio State). Someone that could be just a little positive once in a while, and not make me want to KILL myself after listening to the show for 20 minutes. I would like some that actually WILL put you on the air if you disagree with him. I would like a host that will answer your e-mails when you take time out of your day to write them.
Most of all Santa did I mention that this A-hole is a Pittsburgh Steelers fan? This is like a Michigan fan talking to an OSU fan about Ohio State. Santa you gave me an early X-mas by getting Roger Brown fired … would it be too much to ask to get Kenny Roda fired too?
Thanks and Happy Holidays!
your a genius mike.
if you hate rhoda’s show so much maybe you shouldn’t turn it on.
your obviously not smart enough to make that decision though.
go listen to that fat, worthless, moron – triv on the other station.
That’s cold Mike. He answers my emails.
This might me that dude from up the dial, his name is Mike too! Coincidence? Speaking of that bigot, why is he on t.v? They wanted somebody that sucked worst than the “Tatooed Gypsy.” Santa that’s another thing I want for Christmas, since we’re asking for firings, Can you get that Christmas Ham canned from up the dial? That dude sucks. Is he supposed to be a sports personality, I never hear him talking about sports. That dude got diarrhea of the mouth, it’s always running and it’s full of shit!!!
I have no problem with your complaining about the Road Man. However, make sense when you complain. You list the hot/only topics in Cleveland sports radio: Cavs, Browns, Indians, Buckeyes. Unfortunately, the Browns and Indians suck, so there isn’t a lot of positive to say about them. And with the Cavs, well, the two main areas are how awesome LeBron is and how lame Z is. Stop your crying and listen to 1100 am if you want blind optimism.
Don’t you guys get sick of the same show every day? I could listen on Monday, not listen for week, then tune in and Kenny is doing THE SAME SHOW! Wouldn’t you rather have someone with a little creativity? Something even slightly original? Do you all like everything with a sarcastic and negative spin on it? Don’t you get sick of him kissing Troy Smith’s ass? I liked Kenny 3 or 4 years ago, but he has lost it … and most of Cleveland (Isn’t his show number 24 or 25 in the afternoons? That is pretty bad for being the ONLY sports talk show on at that time). It is time for a change, that’s all I am saying. I want to be able to listen sports talk in the afternoon again.
Mike,
Are you really that stupid. Everything Roda has been talking about is right on the money. He tells the truth unlike those morons up the dial who want you to drink the kool-aid and think everyhting is perfect in this town. They’re so far up the Indians and Browns butts they can check for tonsilitus. If you want to live in a fantasy land then listen to 1100. If you want reality and the truth then you listen to Rodaon 850. But then again as Jack Nicholson once said, “You can’t handle the truth!” That’s your problem, not ours, so don’t waist our time any more with your stupid thoughts!
Mike,
Is it Roda’s fault the Browns still don’t have an offensive line and they suck as a team? Is it Roda’s fault that the Indains continue to be cheapskates? Is it Roda’s fault the only good thing in Cleveland is LeBron James who he has been telling us about for 5 years now. The teams and how they do , dictate what’s going to be talked about on his show, which is actually the only real sports talk show in town.
If the the Browns and Indians would win he’d have something to be positive about.
That’s why I like him, I get a real feel for what’s going on in town, even if most of it is negative.
Mike,
I agree with you that the Road Man is a little like a homer, but he is all we have. It would be nice to have some different topics. I don’t hear him slaming Savage or Crennel. Kenny was so positive when they got here. Well it it is 4 - 10. I want to hear Kenny admit that hiring them was a mistake. As the Road Man says O.I.C.
I admit knowing Kenny is a Pitt fan rubs me a little wrong. Because so many Pitt fans ae Buckeye fans. To me if you are from Pitt and claim that is your team besaue you are from there, then your college team should be Pitt or Penn State. Seems like I see a ton of Steelers fans that are Buckeye fans which in turn tells me these fans just cheer for winners and not the hometown team.
With all that said Kenny leaves his Steelers stuff out of it 14 of the 16 week schedule only getting under our skin on Browns/Steelers week.
Kazmar,
The Roadman was just ripping on both Crennel and Savage yesterday. Maybe you don’t listen to the show enough. He’s been on Crennel all year long and has recently started questioning Savage more and more. I don’t agree with everything he says but he is probably the most fair and realistic sports talker in this town, whether he’s from Pittsburgh or not.
Mike
You say Roda has the same show day after day. Look at our franchises. The Browns have been repeating the same mistake for eight consecutive seasons. Should Roda be a complete schill like some of the morons on 1100? The only guy on 1100 worth listening talk about sports is Andre Knott.
The Indians continue to try to win on the cheap. What’s changed about this team since Dolan took over? Nothing - they’ve been to the playoffs one time and made another run but wound up short.
The Cavs deserve criticism too. From the coach, to Eric Snow to Z. They have all underachieved. Even LeBron needs to step up his defense and develop a killer instinct. I’m so tired of seeing him hug the opposition before and after the games.
The only thing I’ll agree with you about Roda is that it’s sickening to me how he can be a Pittsburgh fan. They have 4 rings and were given a 5th by the officials last year. The only thing that could possibly be worse is being a Michigan fan.
If you want change, listen to that fat blowhard on 1100 do 4 hours of commercials intercut with him eating on the air. What fascinating radio that makes.
Mike, if you could, please let us know your location so we can send the cops to aprehend the person holding the gun to your head, forcing you to listen to the Roadman. This is a forum to discuss all the things wrong (and some of those that are right) with fellow suffering fans.
Go away.
Guys,
Great stuff! Thanks for the support and to by number #1 fan Mike, thanks for listening buddy. As soon as the Browns or Indians do something positive I’ll be glad to mention it. As far as the ratings go, we’re top 5 through top 10 in our main male demographics,(18-34, 25-49,25-54) which is our main focus and where the money is at. But don’t let the facts get in the way of your opinion. And as for
Ohio St., it would be ridiculous to not talk about the number #1 team in the country(positive stuff) as well as their basketball team which is number #3 in the country.
Have a great holiday season guys, and here’s hoping there IS more positive stuff to talk about in 2007, if the teams would only provide it for us!
The Roadman
Kenny,
I would like to share my santa list please.
Santa, you have been a great giver all of my 43 years but I have a few small requests if you would please be interested in filling them.
First - I would love a champion for this city to celebrate before I die. It would be nice to brag about something other than a minor league soccer champion, or to have to rely on the center of the state to provide some kind of consistant lift.
Second - can you provide Mike with a clue please. Kenny is one of the bright spots in my otherwise drab and boring days. He asks the hard questions from coaches when he gets a chance and often gets the run around from the teams or the men when he tries to get them on air (ie Larry Dolan and Kid Lerner)
Third - a coach who can coach in this city, or at least hire offensive minds (hint hint Brown & Crennel) to help them in calling plays, developing effective strategies and being able to adjust to defenses.
Fourth - A second National Championship would be nice for OSU. Altough I don’t know why I am asking you for that. The team is quite able to provide that for itself with the talent available and the greatest coach in OSU history.
Fifth - A Kournakova, Gulbis, Sharipova, or Kreamer spread in Playboy. I am sure that you know that there are plenty of other nominations available. Just check Kenny’s hottie list. Certainly, any of them will do.
Thanks Santa in advance becaue if I keep waiting “another year” forever, I might soon be dead!!!
Kenny,
Point 1:
I want the Cavs to trade Eric Snow and David Wesley for Andre Miller. Philly is trying to lose as many games as possible to get the first draft pick. What better way to lose than to have E. Snow on your roster as your starting point guard.
Point 2:
I’m tired of hearing that Michael Jordan didn’t have a point guard, it seems that everyone has forgotten who he had. Jordan had shooters with him, B.J. Armstrong, Steve Kerr, Craig Hodges and Ron Harper to help him. We have Eric Snow a starter that can barely make a layup. When will you fans and the management of this team wake up?
You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!
We live in CLeveland and it has walls. Walls that seem to block winning teams from consistantly entering this city.
So who is going to break through these walls, and produce a winner here. You Larry Dolan, you Randy Lerner?
We use the phrases like Wait till next year, O.I.C., and We need to get on the same page. We use them for Punch Lines to ease the pain of another failing year in Cleveland sports.
We gradually neither have the time or the continued support to put up with these over-paid, non-motivated, and media craving “Athletes” that want to sleep on the field of play and question the stadium emptiness that we soon shall provide.
I wish that all the fans would just say “Non thank you to tickets, and just watch on TV!” Either way I don’t give a damn about those Cleveland Owners who care more about the money they can make and save than winning.
Did I order the Code RED! NOT YET BUT it’s coming!
As far as the Roadman is concerned. He may wear Steeler black, but he bleeds Brown and Indian Blue like the rest of us!
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year I would like
one thing…and that is for Cleveland to become a respected and vibrant city. Santa, it’s not the weather so much as it is the dreary city itself.
The mayor and city council aren’t well enough equiped to run a day care let alone a once “major” city. Let’s start there. The lakefront provides the city a nice natural resource that can be developed for the good of the entire community. Many jobs and tourest dollars are non-existent because when a proposal is put up for a vote, it’s a state issue. Well guess what Santa? The morons in Columbus couldn’t give a rat’s behind about Cleveland as neither could anyone else in Southern Ohio(but boy-oh-boy does Cleveland sure root for Columbus’ football team).
Once that is fixed it’s time to clean up the media in Cleveland. For years it’s been a well known fact that the Cleveland Plain Dealer is the worst newspaper in any city any size. Now simple math helps us to conclude that the worst paper is not going to attract elite journalists. Therefore the people of Cleveland are forced to read insipid regurgitation. The news on TV just isn’t much better but at least it’s not the city’s talk radio. As low as the paper is, it’s still miles above the two idiot’s that patrol the airwaves during the afternoon. Triv and Blowda are a major embarrasment to the city.
So if you can send the entire Cleveland media to Alaska to cover underwater basket weaving, create a better government, a better run city, a more professional city…naturally better more professional teams will follow.
Thanks Santa.
P.S. Isn’t it funny to hear Blowda crticize the Browns and point out how pathetic they are when his afternoon show is exactly as pathetic? As bad as the Browns have been when compared to other NFL franchises, Blowda is worse when compared to other radio sports talk shows. It takes one to know one Blowda!
Jjohnny M,
Take it easy, Champ. Why don’t you stop talking for a little. Maybe sit the next few plays out, buddy.
Its unfortunate that you’re not a Buckeye fan, you’re obviously in need of a little Christmas spirit. Why don’t you move to Baltimore, that’s what people who lose faith in Cleveland like to do.
Roadman,
will you please do us all a favor and run every person who calls up crying for Troy Smith in Cleveland? that has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard and it is not worth the air time given…God help us if the Browns front office keeps hearing this and actually does it! oh God help us and help Troy Smith if the Browns draft him!
WTF???? Why didn’t the Cavs show interest in Allen Iverson? This was the opportunity to leap frog over Detroit. How could they sit back and watch an elite player go on the trade block, and not make a serious offer for him? Do yall have any idea what that would’ve done for the Cavs? I think A.I. and The King would’ve been able to exist on this team. Damn Santa, why not us? For A.I., I would’ve given them, Hughes, Snow, Jones, and everyone not named LeBron. Maybe I’m a homer, but damn, how sweet would it have been to watch LeBron and A.I. every night. That’s 50-60 points between the both of them. When LeBron draws the double, or triple team. Just imagine. I can’t fuckin believe this. No, we gotta stick with injury prone Larry Hughes, and inconsistant Damon Jones, and Underachieving Donyell Marshall, and Eric Slow. Do any of these teams wanna win? Why can’t we go after the big name guys, shit! That would’ve been a great Christman gift to the fans of Cleveland. FUCK!!!!!!! O.I.C.
At least now I can say that the CAV’s front office does have a clue about some players. Allen Iverson is a scoring guard, and nothing more. I saw hm play in college and in DC against the wizards many times. He IS NOT A LEADER on or off the court, and he is not the point guard that the CAV’s need.
He would not get along with LeBron, because he could never and will never share the spotlight. He practices when he wants to and that would make a great impression in the Locker Room and to the young players that the CAVS have.
I guarantee you that he and Carmello will be attacking each other when the Nuggets loose and only praising themselves when they win. The only people that benefir from Allen Iverson arriving are the Club Owners and Tatoo Parlors.
If Santa was to grant Cleveland a Christmas present, he did by not giving us Iverson as as present.
Sorry Iceberg, but look at his points to assists and you will see that he shoots WAY more than he passes. The CAVS still need a playmaking point guard with a team attitude.
Sorry Bob but you’re wrong. I wish Santa would bring us a good GM in the Cavs organization
Iverson averages 8 assits and 31 points. That’s 2 less than Nash and he’s not running with the Matrix, Amare and Diaw. He runs with bums. He is the hardest working player, one of the best ever. HE IS A LEADER. He led a medocre team to the Finals. The last person to do that was Jordan. Perceptipn is not reality.
FERRY SUCKS. Chase down Z to give him 12 mill a year and he is the definition of diminshing skills.Won’t trade Snow eventhough NY wanted him last year and could’ve had Jalen Rose who is better than Snow at everything -isn’t worth 800,000? !! But Snow is worth 5 mill a year!! The Cavs have 60 mill in dead weight-Newble, pollard, Z, Snow. If you take every teams best player off-the Cavs have the worst team in the NBA on paper talent wise. FERRY SUCKS
I don’t think that Philly is gonna just give us Andre Miller for Eric Snow. That is just dumb on their part. I’m sure their scouts know that Eric Snow is old,slow & sucks. Why would they give us an all-star PG for him?? I think we should make them an offer, but its gotta be something better than E.Snow.
Please bring me a point gaurd… Eric Snow is a joke and would not even ride the pine for another team!
Okay,
Reality check time for our team.
For the people who want RAC to stay or be fired, look at both sides of the coin. The team needs some consistency from the top down to become a better at decision making instead of bringing in new people every 2 to 3 years. Every time there is a change, new coaches, players, philosophies, etc are put into place and some of the existing people are shown the door for new players and young players as well. We have to stay the course sometimes to see exactly what we have and were we are going.
On the other hand, RAC, in my opinion, is not the answer for the Browns and here is my list as to why:
1—After the Atlanta game, everyone, including RAC, was talking about the Steelers and wanting “revenge” and “avenging” last years loss at home. ALL WEEK LONG LEADING UP TO THE GAME!!!!! FROM EVERYONE…. What happens on game day???? We start off and show we can move the ball a little against them in the beginning of the game and when it counts, 4th & 1 early, you settle for a field goal that Dawson misses. WHY in Gods name do you not at least go for it????? You talked all week and when it counts, you back down and settle for other things. He also did the same the next week vs. the Bengals. He is not aggressive in this coaching and, again to me, seems to hold players back. We do have talent on the team, show some creativity and utilize it more.
2—Blasting Derek Anderson after the Ravens game for throwing 2 INT’s in which one, the receiver didn’t come back and the other, seemed, to me, Joe and Derek weren’t on the same page (inside vs. outside). How about blasting Frye after extremely horrible games against the Broncos, Bengals, Carolina, etc. All you did was say “he’s young and growing” but getting pissed off about Anderson???? Nice damage control concerning your players, and nice slap in the face as well. You’re a Professional head coach, act like it.
3—RAC has no, none, Natta skills to adapt during a game. He makes no adjustments at all and seems clueless at times, both on and off the field.
Now, for the reality of it. If RAC stays, why not hire a Steve Mariucci to help out the Offense or take over the Offense??? We have talent, we need to attack teams and keep them off balance. Get aggressive. Next, get more aggressive on the defensive end as well. We don’t attack anyone at all, and it sickens me to death watching the defense rush 3 and drop 8 back and still get hit by a big play for the opposition. That’s something else that’s getting old as well. How many weeks has that happened?
Bub
Kenny, we need you here.
I’m watching the Cavs v. Pistons and this is extremely painful. I can’t take it. For the second night in a row they come back from a timeout and have a turnover (last night when finally getting the lead to a two posession game; tonight after getting down by 13). For the fourth year in a row they have NO PG! They are just like every other Cleveland franchise on the cusp of winning (80s Browns: No o-line; 90s Indisans: no #1; 00’s Cavs: no PG). Steve Kerr just said they need a point guard to create plays b/c LeBron can’t be the only one creating.
You helped get Cooper out. You have to help here. We need a Miller or a Bibby. Someone. Heck, i’d even take JMac back right now. Does Ferry know this state of despair exists? Can he not see that they need a PG? I don’t care what it takes; get us a PG!
Forget it. I’m done with these guys. Christmas Vacation is on and that brings me much more joy.
F these guys.
And tell Drew Gooden he missed a spot. I’m sick of seeing that ass hair grow out of the back of his head. That’s the worst body hair in Cleveland since Wedge’s lame stache’.
The Burger,
Don’t forget about whatever Charlie Frye has growing on his face…I think it’s a goatee, but I’m not sure
Roda-
Keep it up and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! Great list by the way!
Guys, remember when I said Browns fans should do something to protest these losing ways? Well, take a cue from Detroit. Last year they protested with signs. This year they’re walking out to show their disdain for Matt Millen. It would be awesome if we could do this.
I would consider organizing one for the Cavaliers to protest the fact that they’re WASTING LeBron by not getting him a PG! And don’t think they’re not wasting him. Don’t let this be a ‘oh, it’s not that bad.’ It is. It is that bad. This is serious. We are wasting our best chance at a championship. It’s staring us in the face and we’re wasting it! WE NEED A PG!
Why doesn’t Scott Pollard play? We need a defensive guy down low to do the dirty work! What was the point of his signing??
No matter what happens tomorrow I think Romeo should go.
I understood that there would be growing pains for him when he started due to the fact that he had never been a head coach before, so I didn’t expect the playoffs or an above average record. But what really bothers me is that I thought he would of brought a more disciplined football team on the field since he is from the Parcells and Belichick tree. This team talks better than it plays. This team still can’t do the fundamentals like running, blocking, and tackling. What did they do all training camp? And what the hell do they do during the week leading up to a game? I never see a game plan designed to exploit another teams weakness. Half-time adjustments??? No, all he brought us from the two Bill’s is how he doesn’t play rookies. Hey Romeo, you were 0-6 in your division this year, and 1-11 in your head coaching career…Are you seriously trying to tell me it would of been worse if you had played Travis Wilson earlier over Northcutt ? Look at the Ravens. They don’t just draft well, they get the kids playing time.
Also, in my opinion, a team reflects their head coach. This team is soft, laid back, and lacks fire.
Since they don’t want to change the system and won’t hire a proven coach, maybe they should give Grantham a shot. He has fire. He’s young enough to learn on the job and just might be the next Cowher.
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